Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
