Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
