Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
