so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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