is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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