it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
