Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
