It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
