she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
