I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
