Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize