at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
