I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
