I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
