honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
