She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
