I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
