Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
