8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
