Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am midnight drunk by noon
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize