Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
