I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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