guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
