Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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