Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
