Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize