He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
