I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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