hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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