everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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