Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
