I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
