her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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