JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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