Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize