worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
