I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
