sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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