I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
