You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
