Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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