new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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