when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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