Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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