Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize