So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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