I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
