We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
