your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize