Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
