is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
