Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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