but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
