They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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