The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
