Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
