And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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