she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
