And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
sex in a hospital.. check
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize