If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
