make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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